How to Make Someone Feel Emotions Again

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Life can make you feel some intense, turbulent emotions: sadness, anger, jealousy, despair, or emotional hurting. It is not ever possible (or even a skillful idea) to turn off these emotions, since they can help y'all piece of work through your problems and improve your life.^[1] However, sometimes strong emotions can arrive hard for you to role, and you have to numb yourself temporarily just to get through the day. To make yourself emotionally numb nether such circumstances, y'all'll need to work at controlling your environment, paying close attention to your emotions, calming yourself physically, and dealing with anxiety as it pops up.

See When Should You Try This? to larn more than virtually when numbing your emotions might exist a skilful course of action.

1. i

   Recognize that numbing yourself comes at a cost. Studies prove that repressing negative emotions can deplete your psychological resource, making information technology more hard for you to handle stress and brand practiced decisions. This means that numbing yourself from emotional hurting might injure your resilience or even your ability to recollect events. Simply numb yourself if it is truly necessary for you lot to get through your daily life.

   • An effective alternative to numbing yourself is to work through your emotional hurting by reframing it and focusing on more positive emotions. For example, yous might want to numb yourself to an embarrassing incident that happened to you lot at work. All the same, mayhap you tin can effort to see that the incident is not humiliating, only rather quite funny. This is commonly known every bit cognitive reappraisal and, while non the aforementioned as emotional numbness, can produce a similar desired consequence.^[two]
   • Be aware that feelings of total or long-term numbness might be an indication of mental health disorders such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)^[3] or clinical depression.^[4] If y'all feel constantly lost, numb, and hopeless, you should see your doctor or therapist equally shortly every bit possible.

2. 2

   Avoid people, settings, and events you dislike . The easiest mode for yous to numb your emotional response is to control your surround. Brand sure that you are non triggering farthermost emotional responses in the get-go place.^[5] If yous know that certain people, places, and activities bring out the worst in y'all, try to stay away from them as much as possible.

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3. iii

   Take command over situations you dislike. Sometimes you have to exist effectually people you dislike or perform tasks you hate. If y'all cannot avoid the things that cause you emotional pain, detect means to accept control over them. Do non view yourself as a helpless victim: find as much agency every bit y'all tin in the situation. Simply reminding yourself that you always have a choice tin can assistance yous get through emotional times relatively unscathed.^[6] For example:

   • If you get stressed out studying for tests the night before the exam, try studying for the examination two nights earlier instead. And so yous can relax the night before the exam.
   • If you detest going to parties considering at that place are also many people, ask one or two close friends to attend it with you. Seek them out if you lot need to become abroad from the crowd and have a more than private conversation.

4. 4

   Distract yourself . When you feel your emotions getting in your fashion, cease what you are doing immediately and exercise something else instead. Try to do an activity that volition require you lot to focus all of your mental and emotional attention on it. By distracting yourself, you will be able to process your emotions later, when you are more likely to be at-home and reasonable. Merely for now, don't worry about processing your emotional state: simply change your mood by irresolute your activity. Some good activities include:

   • Playing a video game
   • Watching a pic
   • Engaging in your favorite hobby
   • Going to a concert or comedy show
   • Exercising
   • Counting downward from 100 in increments of seven
   • Focusing on finding a colour, such as blue, in your environment
   • Noticing how your feet feel on the ground

5. 5

   Give yourself technology breaks . Engineering can lead to more intense emotions: by remaining plugged in, you are exposing yourself to added piece of work stress, life stress, and feelings of helplessness. Y'all tin make yourself calmer and happier instantly by quitting social media sites.^[seven] Have control over your emotional life past limiting the amount of fourth dimension you spend on the internet.^[eight] In gild to limit your internet use, yous can:

   • Check electronic mail at work only--never at abode
   • Turn your phone off in the evenings
   • Turn off social media notifications
   • Take downwardly your social media profiles
   • Take a break from the internet during weekends

6. 6

   Human action neutral, even if you lot do non experience that way. Co-ordinate to the Facial Feedback Hypothesis, you can alter your emotional state just by irresolute your facial expression. In other words: past pretending to feel a sure style, you can actually begin feeling that style for real. If you want to be emotionally numb, act emotionally numb. This might be difficult during times of stress, simply with some practice information technology will soon become natural. Stay neutral by:

   • Maintaining a cool, deadpan expression
   • Keeping your lips neutral, in neither a grinning nor a frown
   • Speaking in depression tones at a low volume
   • Remaining terse past keeping your sentences brief and to the betoken
   • Maintaining eye contact with a calm, blank stare

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1. one

   Tell yourself that negative emotions are all in your brain. Tell yourself that negative emotions are non objective facts: you are never forced to feel emotional hurting. Call up that emotional hurting comes from your ain mind.^[9] This means that you lot tin can rising above many negative emotions such as fearfulness, anxiety, and anger. When a negative emotion threatens to sally, simply dismiss it with the mantra: "This is only in my heed." This is an essential component of mindfulness.

2. 2

   Rehearse situations that might cause y'all emotional pain in the future. In addition to armoring yourself against emotional hurting you experience in the present, you lot tin can also use mindfulness techniques to prepare yourself for future emotional hurting. Retrieve about events in the near future that might crusade you distress, such equally a stressful test, a potential fight with your girlfriend, or a hard chore at work. Imagine a calm, unemotional response to each of these future events, and do overcoming these negative emotions. Before long yous will inure yourself to these strong emotions, and you will be better equipped to handle yourself calmly.^[10]

3. iii

   Pay attending to your emotional state. Every day, perform a few periodic "mental check-ins" to determine your emotional well-beingness at that specific fourth dimension. Even when y'all are non pitiful or upset, being mindful of what you lot are feeling and why will assistance you understand your instinctive emotional responses to everyday life.^[11] Eventually, your mindfulness will allow you to control your emotional responses more effectively. When you perform your "mental bank check-in," ask yourself the following questions:

   • What am I feeling in this moment? Am I feeling a single, overwhelming emotion, or a combination of emotions? Simply giving your emotions a label can help yous view them more than considerately.^[12]
   • Why am I feeling this mode? Are my emotions due to internal factors (such as my own fears) or external factors (such as when somebody yells at me)?
   • Do I like the manner I am feeling now? Perhaps you are feeling blithesome or grateful about life and want to foster these emotions. But possibly y'all are feeling broken-hearted or nervous and practise not want to experience these emotions in the future.
   • What tin I practise to control my feelings in the future? Enquire yourself if you tin encourage your positive emotions while discouraging or even dismissing your negative ones. How can yous construction your life so that you are the one controlling your emotions--not letting your emotions control you?

4. iv

   Don't beat yourself up for showing emotions. Sometimes your emotional armor might crack, and you might observe yourself expressing emotions you hoped not to express. Perhaps you cried at work or couldn't hide your distress at schoolhouse. Tell yourself that this happens to everybody, and effort to learn from the experience.^[13] Some means to help yous forgive yourself include:

   • Focus on your future, non the nowadays. Ask yourself whether your current failure has taught you any lessons most how you will react in the future. Pat yourself on the back for learning from a difficult situation.^[14]
   • Tell yourself that resilience only comes from failures. You lot cannot be emotionally strong right away: you will have to practice it slowly, over time. Look at this every bit 1 stride on your journey to controlling your emotions.^[15]
   • Go along things in perspective. Retrieve that the person who cares the near nigh your emotional state is yous. Your colleagues, fellow students, friends, and family members volition before long forget if yous had a minor outburst. Remember that this is not the cease of the world: it is a small blip in your life.^[xvi]

5. 5

   Have fourth dimension before reacting. If something happens to upset you, try to remain calm and bare for a few minutes. Breathe securely and count to 10. In one case you've gotten past the immediate emotional response, you volition be able to reply to the situation calmly and rationally instead of with pure emotion.^[17]

6. half dozen

   Go along a diary. One bang-up way to continue your emotions from taking over your life is to let them spill out . . . on paper. Expel your emotions by writing them downwardly in a journal. This volition allow you lot to forget about your emotional state and move on with your life.^[18] Studies show that people who write almost their mood changes in journals experience like they take greater command over their emotional states.^[19] Commit to writing in your journal at predetermined points during the day or during those times when you recollect yous might be getting emotional.

   • Pay particular attention to whether you think your emotional reaction is 1 that a mentally healthy person would share or whether your reaction is exaggerated somehow.^[20]
   • Be certain to ask yourself whether you have felt this way in the past. This will help yous detect a pattern in your emotional land.
   • If something upsetting happens to y'all, tell yourself that yous will but write about it later in your diary. This will help forestall yous from reacting emotionally in the moment.

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1. 1

   Take deep breaths. Deep animate exercises will help you lot maintain your at-home demeanor. They are too a great coping mechanism when you feel your emotions rising to the surface.^[21] Exhale in through your olfactory organ for five seconds, hold for 5 seconds, then release through your mouth for five seconds. Repeat as necessary until y'all have regained your composure.^[22]

   • You tin can also inhale for iv seconds, concord for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, and concur for another 4 seconds.^[23]
   • You might as well calm down past visualizing a safe identify, similar a hammock on a warm, sunny island, or thinking about a pet at home.^[24]

2. two

   Practice vigorous aerobic activity for 30 minutes. Practice can help distract you lot from painful emotions and will besides allow you to exist a calmer, more than rational person. Observe your favorite sport, practice, or concrete activity. Whenever you feel emotions brainstorm to bubble up, put on your gym shoes and get your eye pumping. Soon you will forget about your emotional response.^{[25] [26]} Some excellent concrete outlets include:

   • Running or jogging
   • Bicycling
   • Swimming
   • Team sports such as softball or soccer
   • Martial arts
   • Kickboxing
   • Dancing

3. 3

   Avert substance use. Information technology might exist tempting to use substances in lodge to dull your emotions. However, many drugs and alcohol also work to lower your inhibitions, leading you to have emotional reactions of even greater intensity. Even caffeine can trigger a stress reaction.^[27] Go along yourself calm and emotionally neutral by abnegation from drugs, alcohol, and caffeine.

   • An important exception to this is if you require psychiatric medication for a mental wellness disorder. If this is the case, follow your doctor'due south instructions at all times.

4. 4

   Get a skilful night'southward rest. Sleeplessness can make it difficult to handle your emotions neutrally and calmly.^[28] Exist sure that you sleep at to the lowest degree 8 hours each nighttime. If you have a difficult time sleeping, be sure that you:

   • Avoid blue lite, which is emitted by electronics, for at least three hours before bed^[29]
   • Keep your sleeping room absurd and well-ventilated
   • Have a comfortable mattress
   • Use a white noise machine to drown out ambience dissonance
   • Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and heavy meals, especially in the evenings

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1. i

   Maintain a social network. Sometimes feelings of anxiety or depression might brand you desire to isolate yourself. All the same, your social ties are one of the keys to maintaining a healthy emotional rest.^[thirty] Talk to your friend and family unit members when you lot begin to feel overwhelmed, and let them help you process your emotions. While it isn't making yourself emotionally numb per se, you will exist able to recover more than chop-chop.

   • The quality of your friendships matters more than than the quantity.^[31]

2. 2

   Take positive activeness. Sometimes you might get anxious when in that location is a state of affairs that you cannot control. Rather than stewing about it, y'all should endeavor to take decisive action in order to meliorate the situation. Resist the urge to disassemble: that will simply make y'all feel more stressed out for longer.^[32]

   • For case, if you lot are stressed out about an upcoming exam, don't endeavour to forget about it. Instead, tell yourself that you will study for 20 minutes a day: that volition help y'all overcome your anxiety.

3. 3

   Tell yourself that stress is only temporary. It is important to think that most stressful events will be over presently: they do not final forever. Whether information technology is a political party y'all don't want to attend, an exam you don't want to accept, or a work project you despise, tell yourself that the stressful situation volition pass. Exercise not feel similar your whole life is wrapped up in one moment of stress.^{[33] [34]}

   • Things like psychotherapy, meditation, regular exercise, and regular time in the sun may help y'all manage your stress better.^[35]

4. 4

   Take a break. Sometimes yous are ameliorate equipped to bargain with stress afterward you have immune yourself a brief fourth dimension to recover. If you lot are starting time to feel completely overwhelmed, spend just 20-xxx minutes taking a walk, talking to a friend, or listening to your favorite anthology. Return to the stressful situation in one case you feel calmer and gear up to face information technology head-on.^[36]

   • Only irresolute your environment for every bit fiddling equally 30 minutes can exist helpful. For example, y'all could go outside.
   • You lot will be especially relaxed if you appoint in an action that involves being social (such as getting a coffee with friends) or existence outside (such equally walking effectually a lake). These tin can exist more effective than television set at getting y'all calmed down and rejuvenated.^[37]

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1. 1

   Effort muting your emotions when y'all're facing a challenge. Heightened emotions can sometimes get in the way when you're trying to bargain with a high-stress situation. For instance, if you lot've got to give a big spoken communication or presentation, fright might deject your ability to think conspicuously and execute your delivery. Knowing how to mute that sense of fright can come in handy when you have to overcome challenges at work and school.

2. 2

   Put your emotions temporarily bated when you have a determination to brand. Emotions take a office to play in decision-making, simply sometimes it's important to set them bated and appraise other factors. For example, maybe you feel devastated after a breakdown and are tempted to move to a new metropolis so yous don't take to see your ex. If you lot're able to see beyond the sadness and weigh other factors, you might be less likely to drib everything and leave.

3. three

   Numb your emotions when you're in a situation you can't control. Numbing your emotions can be a useful defence force mechanism. Maybe there's a groovy at school, or you accept a sibling with whom you don't become along. If you're in a situation that's tough to modify, you lot tin can protect yourself by temporarily shutting off your feelings to aid you get through the day.

4. iv

   Avert cutting yourself off from your emotions too often. We feel emotions for a reason. They are essential to navigating the world and, ultimately, surviving with our mental health intact. If you routinely numb your emotions, you're cutting yourself off from experiences that your heed needs to feel. Fright, sadness, despair, and other emotions that don't experience good to experience are even so just as of import as joy and excitement. If you lot don't let yourself experience deplorable, information technology'll be harder and harder to feel happy. Rather than numbing your emotions, learn to go far touch with them and use them to your advantage.

   • Becoming emotionless, or out-of-bear on with your emotions, can cause you lot to make bad decisions.^[38]

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Add New Question

• Question

  How can I be more emotionally intelligent?

  

  Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist in individual practice in San Jose, CA, and the co-creator of Projection Reciprocity, an international program at Facebook's Headquarters, and a consultant with Digital Bounding main's Safety Team. He specializes in assisting high-achieving adults with relationship bug, stress reduction, anxiety, and attaining more happiness in their lives. In 2016 he gave a well-watched TEDx talk about men and emotions. Dr. Dorsay has a M.A. in Counseling from Santa Clara University and received his doctorate in Clinical Psychology in 2008.

  

  Licensed Psychologist & TEDx Speaker

  Practiced Answer

  Try to view your emotions as a 2nd language. Larn more nigh your emotions, recognize that you lot might exist a little clumsy with them at first, and be patient with yourself. Instead of saying "I don't want to exist emotional," set a goal like "I want to be more in control of my emotions" or "I want to acquire from my emotions."

• Question

  I just want to stop feeling everything. It's besides overwhelming. When I button everything inside, it just explodes later, and I may take harmed myself because of this. What is incorrect with me?

  

  Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional person Psychology in 2011.

  

  Licensed Professional Advisor

  Skillful Respond

  Being on both ends of the emotional spectrum isn't healthy. It would exist best for you to see a mental health professional, who tin help you determine the causes of your emotional turmoil. You may have a possible trauma that has non been dealt with. Information technology's as well a good thought to get a physical exam to eliminate any concrete causes for your overwhelming feelings.

• Question

  Is it the best selection to exist emotionally numb when you're always facing emotional blackmail?

  

  Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Advisor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

  

  Licensed Professional Counselor

  Expert Respond

  You should only numb your emotions temporarily and for a short catamenia of time. Eventually, you will need to deal with the underlying issues that are causing your unpleasant emotions.

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• Sometimes your social network can assist y'all process emotions calmly. At other times, beingness around people might raise your emotional state. Do what you think is best for you, and have care of yourself at all times.

• Avoiding your feelings can sometimes lead to further emotional distress. Notice healthy means to process your emotions--if not now, then at a later time.

• Try to aim for calmness and neutrality over full numbness. Detect ways to react calmly in difficult situations without completely shutting down your emotions.

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• Emotional numbness can sometimes be a sign of a more serious mental disorder. If you have lost the ability to feel happiness, surprise, or pleasance, talk to a physician virtually treatment options.^[39]

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Article Summary 10

To make yourself emotionally numb to assistance yous get through extremely trying times, avoid people, places, or things that may trigger you to experience worse. In add-on to avoiding triggers, distract yourself with an activeness that requires your focus, like playing a video game, going to a concert, exercising, or counting down from 100 in increments of 7. If you still feel yourself getting upset or worked upwards, have deep breaths to become calm. Some other method to help you numb your emotions is to become a skilful dark's slumber. Sleeplessness can brand you experience more emotional, and so be sure to get at least eight hours of rest each dark to assistance keep your emotions in check. To acquire how to deed neutral to experience more emotionally numb, go along reading!

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How to Make Someone Feel Emotions Again

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